(An All-Round Bible-Based Relationship Teaching)
Topic: ADD TO YOUR KNOWLEDGE?
The Bible says, “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge” (2nd Peter 1:5, KJV).
If you want to be married and be happy, seek knowledge before you enter or as you’re entering. Not just any kind of knowledge, seek the right knowledge. Especially, learn from those already married.
Now, let me advise you on this. You need not learn from those whose marriages are working only, but also learn from those whose marriages aren’t working. There is something you need to learn from both.
From those whose marriages are working, learn what they do that makes their marriage work.
Ask them questions, and if you see anyone of them to whom you could become closer, please do. Have some married couples as your marriage mentors.
Watch how they behave to each other. Watch how they handle matters. Ask them one or two things you’ll like to know. Seek the right knowledge from the right people.
From those whose marriages aren’t working, watch what they do and note what they say. Wisely interview them or ask them direct questions if you have the opportunities.
What are you looking for? What they are doing that’s making the marriage not to work.
Importantly, listen and note what they usually emphasise. What do they usually complain about or hold on to, about their spouse?
Those are things you must avoid. Those are things making those marriages not to work.
I laugh when I watch some singles talk. If you’ve not driven a car before, you’ll think driving is very easy and so everyone can do it. Is it not just to press this, press that, hold this and be turning it right and left?
Well, if it is that easy, why are there road accidents, daily everywhere?
You see, no matter how good you are even as an experienced driver, you need to keep obeying the rules of driving. You might decide to do as you wish just one day and that would be the end of you.
Just like driving, marriage is both easy and difficult, what you do and how you do what you do is what determines what you get.
When we newly got a car, one of my friends who drives Uber visited us with his family; we all attended an occasion together and he drove.
He told me, “Alaba, when you’re driving, you’re not only driving for yourself, you’re also driving for the guys beside you.”
You see, you’re not only married for yourself, you’re also married for the person you marry. So, it’s not just all about you. It’s about the two of you.
You must also note that for your marriage to succeed and for you to be happy, you must think beyond the two of you alone, you must think about others that are connected in one way or another to that marriage.
So, just as my friend further told me, “You must watch the car behind you and the one in front of you.” That’s why there are side mirrors.
Likewise, in marriage, you must be watchful. Every relationship that has anything to do with anyone that’s connected to either you or your spouse in anyway, is important. Just that some are more important than others are.
Marriages have scattered because of in-laws, siblings, friends, bosses and even neighbours. People you think have nothing to do with the marriage.
This is why this year we are focusing our Relationship Teachings and Training not just on marriage or romance, but on every aspect of relationship.
To have a happy and successful marriage, you must be skillful in relating to different kinds of people. You must develop good relationship skills.
If not, you might end up crashing your marriage and even your life because of simple matters that could have been prevented, avoided or better handled.
As seemingly insignificant as your neighbours are, not knowing how to handle your relationship with them could crash your marriage.
So, as far as living a happy life and having a good marriage is concerned, your relationship with your friends, siblings, in-laws, parents, neighbours, employees, pastors, leaders, mentors, employers, coworkers, and even strangers are important.
That’s why we shall touch on each of these areas of relationship during our Your Relationship Today Teachings, with practical Bible base for each teaching.
Call or WhatsApp +2347030371153 for Marriage and Relationship Consulting
I am A. T. ADENEKAN
Founder, The King’s People Connection & Happy Marriage Training Programme