(THIS LECTURE IS AN EXCERPT FROM THE 6TH CHAPTER OF MY COMING BOOK 21 THINGS YOU MUST KNOW, GET READY FOR IT)
While making research one day I came across a name that interested me. I went on to read on it and I discovered her story is a good illustration of the tragedy that happens sometimes when people don’t flow well with their brothers or sisters within the family circle, or with their husband or wife or children.
Here is the story of a lady who was destined to rule her people as queen, but had her life cut short and ended her days in great misery probably because she wasn’t wise enough to know how to win her brother to her side, or come to terms with her husband, when they disagreed on issues. History knows her as Mary, Queen of Scots.
Mary Stuart was the daughter of James V, king of Scotland. She was born in December 1542 and became queen before she was a week old; her father died six days after her birth.
When she was five years old, her mother being French sent her to France where she was raised in the court of King Henry II of France. And few months before she was sixteen she married Dauphin, who succeeded to the French throne as Francis II. But, Dauphin died the following year of their marriage.
When Mary was eighteen, she returned to Scotland in August 1561. As queen, she made her half-brother James Stuart her chief minister.
In July 1565, few months before she clocked twenty-three, she remarried to a man named Henry Stewart. But her brother who doubled as her chief minister and a good number of the nobles of Scotland were for religious and chiefly political reasons opposed to the marriage.
This created a revolt, which the queen quickly suppressed. But it was not long after this that Mary began to have problems with her husband, who demanded that the crown be secured to him for life, and wanted the queen to agree that should she die without children the throne would descend to his own heirs.
Well, had Mary consulted with her brother and the nobles whom she met holding the government while she was away in France, she would have known the kind of a person Henry was before proceeding to marry him.
Henry was a person of very weak and evil character and extremely ambitious, though very handsome.
Even after the wedding, Mary did not try to appease her disgruntled brother but rather forcefully quelled his and the nobles’ revolt.
Before long, Henry made pacts with James against Mary. It was a disaster for the queen.
When you have your husband joining with your brother against you, with the influential people around you opposing you, what can you do, how can you succeed without first trying to make peace and winning your family over to your side? But Mary didn’t.
If she had consulted me I could have counselled her and help her know and take the right step that would help her secure both her marriage and her kingdom and thereby avoid the tragic end of her actions of fighting a simultaneous battle both at home and work, but unfortunately for her, I wasn’t born yet at the time.
They conspired, murdered her secretary and her most trusted adviser whom they see as her backbone and the hindrance to her husband’s objective. The man’s death had a devastating effect on Mary, she promised to revenge.
It was not long after this that her husband Henry was killed by gunpowder explosion, in the house where he laid sick. He was discovered strangled near the scene of the explosion.
The opposition suspected Hepburn as the murderer, a man who is now the favourite adviser to the queen. The queen briefly tried Hepburn and had him acquitted of the charges. Afterwards, Hepburn quickly divorced his wife and married the queen.
This immediately brought both the nobles and the clergy against Mary; there was war.
She twice raised an army that equalled her enemies’ troops, but she was at both times defeated by the joint armies of her brother and the nobles.
She was first defeated in June 1567, after which she surrendered and was in the following month forced to abdicate the throne in favour of her one-year-old son, while her half-brother became the regent. She was twenty-four.
She was again in May 1568 defeated, after she escaped from her prison and within few days raised an army of six thousand soldiers. She was such a capable ruler and great young woman. But she lacked the wisdom she needed and could have done better had she had the right counsellors.
Four days after this, Mary fled to England for refuge, only to find herself a prisoner of the queen of England for the next eighteen years of her life.
She tried to secure her freedom, but she was later accused of conspiring to assassinate and overthrow Queen Elizabeth I. She was put on trial, found guilty of the charges and sentenced to death. Mary was forty-four when she was executed.
History has many questions and answers as to whether she was guilty of the charges or falsely accused and discreetly executed for some political or other reasons. Since she was also in line for the throne of England, being Elizabeth’s cousin and at an earlier time a rival to England’s throne and the favourite of some political and religious factions.
Her son later became an English king, King James I of England. However, one thing could have prevented all her tragedies; peace with her brother and her husband, making peace with her family.
What are you waiting for? Make peace right now with your spouse, with that sibling, with that parent, with that neighbour, with that colleague, with that staff, with that friend of yours, right now.
Forget about who is right and who is wrong, make the peace at once. You can’t tell what it’s end would be if you don’t do it right now.
Make the peace at once and be at peace with all. You’ll be happy for it forever.
Now, if you don’t mind, please tell me, what did you learn from this Lecture? You can make additional lessons too for us all to learn better.
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I am A. T. ADENEKAN
Founder, The King’s People Connection & Happy Marriage Training Programme